Tonight was the last time I will play with the Myers Park High School orchestra.  

Ever.  

I conducted a Bach, I led my section.  

I remember the first time I saw a line of seniors… it was this time, three years ago.  They all loved each other, knew each other.  

I felt awkward, as a freshman.  I didn’t talk a lot in orchestra back then.  

In the interim, I’ve learned to be musical.  I’ve watched my teacher go bald.  I’ve made really close friends.  Not because we had so so much in common, but just because we were near each other during the eye of the storm of our day… the gritty gray orchestra room, with beat-up scratched old cellos and a lot of people who didn’t care much.  It was really nice.  

Spending time in an orchestra with someone is different from any other social group I’ve encountered.  Maybe it’s the same with choruses or dance teams or infantry platoons, but the line of seniors were the buddies I made art with… not art I was particularly invested in, just group art.  

A note to my future self:  the last song you ever played at the last concert you ever played in high school was Smoke on the Water.  The note was a low A.  Bryan played the violin solo.  Remember him?  

I don’t think future me cares very much what the last song was.  Future me is probably busy with something important.  And anyway, it doesn’t matter what the last of something is… I’m realizing, with all these lasts, that what you learned in the interim is much more important.  

But tomorrow is still going to be sad…. the last of this class, or that one, and we’re all leaving.  

I don’t think I’ve processed it yet.  

Sam’s workstation this morning inspired me.  

Calm happy mornings.  I love yellow, I love sun, I love calm happy mornings.  

Mornings with soft light through blinds, cereal and stirring coffee slowly.  Stretching and smiling at the person you love, who is breathing in the day just as you are.  

I don’t like cold pastel yellow or hot hot yellow like tight dresses in 80s nightclubs.

I like warm light yellow.  This morning I found yellow things in the sun.  

 

I found this note on the sideboard… I’m glad I looked for yellow things, because this is so nice.  

In six months, I will be living in Montreal.  I hope they sell instant grits there.  

How to Make Instant Grits:  

*Put grits in a bowl 

*Add a half-ish cup of milk 

*Microwave for one minute 

*Stir in a tiny bit of butter— maybe half a teaspoon

*eat slowly; enjoy each bite 

Happy, calm, and yellow.  Good morning. 

sonicscrewhovian replied to your video: I recorded a song today.  And then decided I might…

This is reminiscent of Kimya Dawson and oh so lovely :)

Thank you!  I get that a lot… the Moldy Peaches are awesome. 

seejamiewrite:

Taking a break from my magazine article. So I translated the first part of my friend’s song from English to Spanish.

***

Todas las personas son robots

Las mismas leyes governan todo el mundo

Como cuando se debe pitar y cuando se debe chirriar

Cuando se demande que los humanos pequeños…

Fantastic!  I recorded this today, actually… say hello to electronic drum patterns!  

I recorded a song today.  And then decided I might as well make a video with the footage.  

(The story is real.) 

Unedited. 

I am finished with the North Carolina School of Science and Math.  

Done.  I’m done.  I’ve done all of my work.  

That’s all.  

That’s frightening.